gosh. im scared. totally scared. im scared for the future and what is put out for me. what is going to be of me when im 30. will i be married? will i be still living off my parents and working as a janitor at a shopping mall? or still studying? or even alive? what will happen to me after school. sitting at home waiting for school to start has not been the least productive. let alone how it would be after i have stopped school?! maybe im being just a little paronoid. maybe alot. but i really dunt know what to do about it. so all i can do at this point of time would be to study; to study as hard as i can so that i could have a chance of a bright future ahead.

well all i want to do right now is, go out to see my dear friends, or sew. i want to sew badly.i keep pestering my mum to let me use her machine, but she wont let me. she says that its a 1000+ machine and she isint going to let me use it cause she thinks i will break it. i admit im a clutz but i want to sew! so, im making my mum buy me a machine for my birthday! wooh. but i duno whether they are. haiz.. the thing is; i dunt want to wait all the way till my birthday to get that machine! haiyo. but what am i to do. i will just have to wait and see.

So, holidays seem to be getting boring-er by the second. those of you who can go out any time u want are so lucky. i want to go out. more.